If you cut me I suppose I would bleed the colors of the evening stars

WOW. I was going to post this blog in the summer when I first started listening to Owl City; hence the title. I saved the draft and then completely forgot about it and now just discovered it.

SO I'M FINISHING IT NOW. (1/25/10)

Um. I spent like two hours tonight watching Lady Gaga interviews on UTOOB. And now I'm listening to Poker Face. What is the world coming to?

I'm not a fan of Lady Gaga, but she's just so...interesting? IDK, why did I spend so much time watching interviews of her? Hmmm. Well, I can say that even though she's kinda crazy I admire that about her. Crazy-ness. It's refreshing.

WHY DO I ALWAYS WASTE MY TIME ON THE INTERNETS???!! I should have been doing other things. 8I

Glad to be out of Silent Hill

So I've graduated from hell. It took forever, and yet it went by so fast. Gosh.
Anyway, I'm feeling healthier, happier, and all-around better now that I know I never have to go back there ever again. :-D

I was reading some old blog post/diary thingies on my hard drive just now, and it made me realize just how much better I'm feeling than when I was in high school.

I NOW PRESENT: a blog I wrote on myspace in 2007 and removed a day later. Probably at the end of sophomore year when I was almost failing English 10.

I REPEAT: WHAT FOLLOWS WAS WRITTEN IN 2007. IT IS NOT AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF MY CURRENT FEELINGS.

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I can't deal with this. Why do I always make things harder for myself? I drag things on forever. I can't get anything done. I'm too tired. I'm too behind in everything. Why does it matter? Why do school and work and grades all matter? Where will this really get me in life? I'm trying so hard and yet I'm not trying at all. It's like I'm moving in slow motion and yet the world is zooming right on past me. It's so hard. Why is it all so hard for me? Why do I feel so sorry for myself? Why can't life just wait for one moment? What's the point in being responsible? In the end where does it really get you? People can easily do well in school and yet fail at life. Where is my life headed? Why take so much time planning? Why not go out into the world and do something? Why make decisions? I don't even know what I think half the time. I must be here for a reason and yet I fail to do anything about it. This is all so hard for me. Reflections? I've been too busy putting my life off. I keep putting it off every day, hoping it will disappear and yet wishing it would do something about itself. I'm so hopeless. This was a fairly simple assignment. Why do I always screw things up?
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Yeah, wow. I'm so glad that hell is over. Seriously, my relief is beyond words.

For those you still struggling through high school, I have this advice: Don't take it too seriously. Don't worry if you get a C in a class. Don't be an over-achiever, especially if you're a perfectionist. Don't listen to the bullshit your teachers and counselors tell you--that if you don't get good grades you'll fail at life. Failure is just a state of mind. YOU are in charge of your destiny, and you can always change. However, I DO suggest staying in school. Don't drop out. Hell is mandatory, but it doesn't have to be hell. Just remember that. I hope some of this made sense.

Also, graduate early. Or home-school and take college classes at the same time.

BUT WAIT; THERE'S MORE!

I really love Owl City.

I don't know why I'm doing a new blog post when I could just go back and edit the one I made two seconds ago. Oh well.

What am I doing?! Get off the computer you zombie!

Oh yeah. I got a haircut on Friday at the Meredith hair salon. I really like it. It's easier to manage now. I bought some gel stuffs at wally world today, to make my hair curly. I never use hair spray or gel, but hopefully I got the right kind. I grew up reading Nintendo Power, not Seventeen Magazine, so how am I supposed to know about these things?

I need to finish playing Silent Hill 1, but it's kind of late now because I want to go to bed soon. Blah. I apologize to my non-existant blog readers for my post suckage.

Seriously, if you actually read this, leave a comment so I know who's stalking me.

Hello Seattle I am an albatross

I just bought two Owl City albums. Tina had Hello Seattle on repeat in her car, and I really liked it.

My new iPod dock has really great sound.

It's that time of night when I feel lonely and anxious and wistful. But it's not that bad.

I just felt like blogging.

I really don't feel like blogging.

I like putting spaces in between my lines.

Does it annoy you?

I need to do some creative things and clean my room now.

Farewell, my lover.

Akira and crazy dreams

So I watched Akira at Lena's house last night, which was fun. I've been wanting to see that movie again for a while now. It made a lot more sense this time. The first time I watched it--which was in 2002 or 2003--I was like, "what the heck is going on?!" But this time I could actually follow the plot.

So naturally I dreamed about it last night as well. It was at the end of the movie when Tetsuo has turned into that big fleshy monstrosity, and I was Kaneda, flying around on that air-motorcycle thing, basically trying to get away from Tetsuo. Yup.

And then there was another part to the dream that was sort of a mixture of Doctor Who/Hellsing/Fullmetal Alchemist. I was the Doctor's companion, I guess, and we were traveling and kept on meeting all these crazy people that had something to do with murders or something. I think some of them had done failed human transmutations, because I saw a lot of corpse thingies. And then maybe there was something about vampires and I was trying to get away from crazy undead people. And I was flying. And then I was in high school, trying to figure out where my classes were, then wondering why I was even there because I had already graduated.

Yeah, It was crazy.