Fr-EYE-dai, Fr-EYE-dai, geh-in down on Fr-EYE-dai

Sometimes I can't sleep. It's my own fault, I know. I shouldn't be reading/watching scary things before bed. But I just can't help it. Scary things are awesome.

Now, tonight I'm not still up because I'm scared. I'm just working on a project. The one I wrote about. You know the one.

But sometimes, even when I do manage to fall asleep, it's like I'm still awake. The part of my brain that scans for danger never shuts down. So lie there, stiff and alert, yet asleep. It's kind of weird. I never feel rested in the morning after nights like that.

I used to be terrified of ghosts and ghost stories when I was little. I've grown out of that. I tell myself it's all a matter of how paranoid I want to be. I could be super paranoid of what lurks in the dark, or I could not be, so I choose the latter. Besides, paranoia doesn't help anything.

Of course I still get scared if I'm up late at night watching scary things, but those things seem to effect me less than other people. I've read youtube comments where people are like, "thanks, I left the light on last night and couldn't sleep at all." But I've never reacted that way. For the most part I've trained myself not to be afraid of the scary things I watch, which is kind of ironic I guess. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I know what I'm watching isn't real, therefore I'm unable to fully immerse myself in it. Idk. I guess I'm just too grounded in reality to get super scared, haha. But that's a good thing.